Jillian
Northwestern University, First yEAR
Jillian and I both attended Hawken School, a small, private school, for all of our K-12 education. At the start of the interview I asked her why she believes her parents sent her to a private school for her education. Jillian said her dad wanted her to go to a private school to be in the type of learning environment where “people were striving to do well" so she could remain focused. She likes the environment private schools provide; she believes the smaller communities and class sizes are a great fit for her.
Knowing the demographics at both Hawken and Northwestern are not extremely diverse, I asked her if she had ever been in classrooms where she was the only, or one of the few black students in the room. “I’ve never been in many situations where I’m the only black person" she said. "Most of my friends are white here [at Northwestern], but I feel COMPLETELY comfortable, they’ve never said anything racist to me, or have said anything that made me feel uncomfortable. Which is a really good thing.” The majority of our friends at Hawken were also non-black, and we grew up accustomed to being the only, or one of a few black people in a given setting. I asked her if she’s ever been in situations where she’s felt targeted or uncomfortable. She said, “I’ve never personally been targeted, but I’ve been in situations where I’ve been SCARED someone was going to say something racist to me or say something racist period.” It is good to hear that she’s never been targeted, like some of the students followed in Carter-Andrews' study, but it is worrisome that sometimes she is fearful of that happening. She described that, in general, she has had positive experiences inside and outside of the classroom with respect to her race. The next question I asked Jillian was if she ever really FELT like she was the minority in any of her private school environments. She said, “At times when I was in history, for example, and they were talking about slavery and I looked around and I was THE ONLY black person, the entire class would just look at me.” Based on the tone change in her voice, I could sense this experience made her very uncomfortable. In the Carter-Andrews study that was highlighted in the review of literature, this was called “spotlighting.” “It just makes me feel weird,” Jillian said as she continued to talk about her spotlighting experiences. “On a daily basis I’m never super conscious about my race because it’s never been an issue—it’s never been anything anyone’s ever addressed. In those conversations talking about race...I wonder WHY just because they say something about black people [in class], people automatically turn to me like I’m going to say something. It makes me feel weird and uncomfortable, and I just wish It would NEVER happen again. At those times I wish there were more black people around." |
These kinds of situations, like spotlighting or microaggressions, cause distractions for black students in the classroom. For Jillian, it seems as if the spotlighting she's experienced could’ve prevented her from focusing in class, which is one of the reasons her parents sent her to private school in the first place.
In general, she felt that Hawken was lacking diversity. However, she believes that the lack diversity at Hawken, was not the reason why she and other black students might have faced spotlighting or other issues. She said, “I think that private schools are generally incredibly segregated. I think that people tend to group together by race, socioeconomic class, etc. I personally hate that. I think that in order to have a community where you appreciate everyone for who they are, you need to be more diverse and you need to intermingle." She found this problem at both Hawken and Northwestern. Many of the articles I've found and students I've talked to blame the issues black students face on a lack of diversity. Jillian provided a unique perspective because she believes the challenges are due to a lack of integration rather than diversity. Despite the few similarities Jillian has found between her private high school and her private college experience, there are some major differences. Jillian was surprised to find that Northwestern is much more diverse than Hawken was and I think this has benefited her. This is partially due to the larger overall student body population. “Northwestern is significantly more diverse than Hawken which has been a nice surprise for me,” she said. “There’s at least one black person in all of my classes. I’ve never really felt out of place.” Overall, Jillian’s experience and transition from high school to college has gone well. Her private school experience is unique from many other black students' because she has ONLY attended private schools for her education. “If I would have gone to public school then switched to Hawken, I think that the experience would’ve been TOTALLY different,” said Jillian. “It’s harder to infiltrate the way Hawken works in high school than it was when I started there [in preschool]. My experience was very different than a lot of other African-Americans [at Hawken] because I had been going to Hawken for so long.” She believes that, “where you’re from, how you present yourself, and when you infiltrate are big factors in the experience [at private schools].” |
Photo: Cavs Game 2015, Jasmine Walker.